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NotRocs - Various and Sundry
 Click on your
"REFRESH" button to view the animation in the
Black Rocket ad
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Perhaps the most peculiar of all the
NotRoc items - the enigmatic 'Black Rocket'.
Black Rocket is an integrated
E-business network platform, but none of the television
advertisements gave a clue about what the product was.
They featured a guy who would pull this foot-tall black
rocket out of his briefcase in tense situations. It
worked like Kryptonite. Everyone in a 100 foot radius
instantly fell weakened and silent once the Black Rocket
was unsheathed. It humbled Customs officials,
Eastern-bloc commissars, and even that sultry IT
executive with the pouty lips.
Brad liked this item enough to build
one of his own. Click [HERE!]
for details!
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There was brief debate about
whether this Rocket Pinata belonged on the Rockets on Cakes page due to its
inevitable association with birthday parties. Logic won
out, however, when it was pointed out that piatas are
not exclusively used on birthdays. Interestingly,
during the early days of NASA, stress testing of launch
vehicles included suspending the spacecraft from the
ceiling while blindfolded scientists whacked at it with
long sticks. The practice was discontinued after an
unfortunate accident known only to insiders as 'the
failed girder incident'.
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rocket-shaped container of G'Ooze, or as it was
named by its inventor, 'Phlegm in a Can'. It is a
common misconception that this product is distributed by
Nickelodeon. It is, in fact, part of a vast conspiracy
devised by the Carpet and Textile manufacturers as a
means of artificially stimulating demand for replacement
floor coverings. |
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 This Wind Sock
would be a cool item to hang from your canopy at the
launch site - but if it is stretched out like this, I
would advise against launching.
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 mezuzah
"based on a rocket shape and inspired by the sixties
mission to land a man on the moon."
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 The Rocket Rider from Radio Flyer.
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 I wish I had one of these when I was a
toddler.
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Or, one of these would have been nice. It looks like it is inflatable, which guarantees you minutes and minutes of partially deflated fun.
Hey, while I think about it, one of those astronaut uniforms would have been cool too!
02/02/06
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A rocket-shaped plush toy.
If your toddler goes to sleep curled up with one of these every night, I have some important advice for you:
Start saving now for the psychotherapy you will invariably have to buy for them when they reach their adolescent years. This thing is seriously creepy.
02/02/06
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Imagine the hours of imaginative playtime fun available from this rocket-shaped finger puppet!
Yes, I'm certain it's supposed to go on your finger.
Yes, I'm sure it is too small to fit anywhere else.
No, I haven't tried.
02/02/06
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A gift box for watches in the shape of
a rocket. The undersized fins are almost an afterthought.
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A pair of Rocket Binoculars with
nose-cone lense caps. It has the even smaller fins than
the watchbox.
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A vintage lawn sprinkler in the
shape of a rocket with fins like the Buck Rogers
spaceship.
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 A rocket-shaped bubble-blowing
necklace. I hear these are standard issue to all NASA
astronauts.
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| Remember those rocket pens
filled with innocent snuggly creatures? See how it
escalates? First it's puppies and penguins who get the
one-way ticket to the milky way, then it's regular
families in swimwear. And once all the puppies and
waterfowl are gone, who will be there stand up in your
defense when the bombay doors are held open for you? Hmm?
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Yes, it really is. A rocket-shaped tombstone.
Is it weird enough for you? If not, we have an ENTIRE PAGE devoted to
Roadside Rockets. It's a photo collection of rockets - actual and otherwise - on display around the planet. (This planet. The one we're standing on....)
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